“What wings are to a bird and sails to a ship,
so is prayer to the soul.”
– Corrie Ten Boom
“I can no longer condemn or hate a brother for whom I pray,
no matter how much trouble he causes me.”
– Dietrich Bonhoeffer, theologian
Prayer can be a dangerous thing. It should not be entered into lightly.
All too often in our prayers we try to talk God into something. Something that we want. Too often we enter into prayer in an attempt to change God’s mind. We may disguise our intention with words of praise and thanksgiving, or just a multitude of words in general, but the reason for our prayer is clear enough.
Let there be no misunderstanding: there is nothing wrong with praying to God for specific things. In fact, we are called to bring everything to God in prayer. But, we misunderstand prayer if we treat it like a Christmas list to be filled by Santa Claus. That is not what prayer is at all.
First and foremost, prayer is conversation. We talk and God listens; then, God talks and we listen. How often to do we skip that second part? I believe that God speaks to us all the time, in many and various ways. But, we have lost the ability to listen. That’s why in our deafness we ask for a sign, something so obvious that there is no way we could miss it. On the other hand, we might hear what God has to say, but don’t like the message. So, we ignore it. Or argue with God.
But, this is all just background. The reason prayer is dangerous is not that it will change God’s mind, but rather than it will change our mind. Before we ever begin to pray, God already knows what we need. We, however, may have confused our wants with our needs.
For example, we are called to pray for our enemies. If you’ve ever tried it you know that it’s a hard thing to do, especially when you’re hurting. The question is, how are we to pray for our enemies? Do we pray for what we want – for them to straighten up, to think and act like us? Do we pray for them to fail? Do we pray for their destruction? Those types of prayers are born out of an arrogant and angry heart.
To pray for an enemy is to ask God to make them whole, for God’s will to be done in their lives. We don’t pray for an enemy out of judgment or compulsion, but out of love. As Jesus said, anyone can love a likable person; only someone who loves God can love an enemy:
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute youso that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have?” (Matthew 5)
Prayer may or may not change another person, but it will certainly change you. That’s what makes it so dangerous. If you don’t want to change, don’t pray. Prayer takes empathy and you know where empathy leads.
In their book Primary Speech, Ann & Barry Ulanov write:
Praying for our enemies changes our attitudes toward them. By trying to put ourselves in another person’s shoes, we may discover what we do that so irritates others and makes them dislike us. Praying for our enemies releases within us parts of ourselves that really are our own enemies.
So, if you’re up for it, I have a challenge for you. For one week, pray for someone you consider an enemy. If you’re really brave, pray for all of your enemies. And if you’re feeling strong and you’re on Facebook, refrain from posting anything snarky about politicians you don’t like. One week, that’s all I’m asking. But, let me warn you: praying for someone might cause you to learn to love them.
My hope is that if we pray together for one week, then maybe we can do it for two; or three or more. What kind of difference could that make in your relationship with God? What kind of difference could that make in your family and community relationships?
You won’t find God in anger and retaliation. Nor will you find God in negative thoughts and words. Love and prayer lead to God and to reconciliation. If you’re still not sure how to pray for an enemy, scripture teaches us that we don’t even have to use words: The Holy Spirit knows what’s in our hearts and will intercede for us. God is good indeed.
Grace and peace.
Divine Overtones 