“Once a person has a center, all external impressions can find an anchorage there. Anyone who lacks a center and is uncertain, is thrown off balance by the least impression, grows increasingly uncertain, while the center of the former grows more constant with every impression.”
– Carl Jung
I found her name in a footnote, her life’s story condensed to one short sentence in the body of the text. Her name is Etty Hillesum and she is going to be my teacher for the summer.
Perhaps I should explain. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m in my first year of training to become a certified Spiritual Director. The first year primarily consists of reading; lots and lots of reading. Much of it is practical, but some is a bit more obscure. For instance, we just went through some intense study of the Christian mystics. For our summer assignment, we are to read the works of a mystic of our choice. Whomever we choose will be our ‘teacher’ for the summer.
I’ve chosen Etty Hillesum. Her name was unfamiliar to me until a couple of weeks ago. Now I can’t wait to discover what she has to teach me.
Etty was a Dutch Jewish woman who died in Auschwitz at the young age of 29. Her remarkable legacy was the diary she kept (first published in the 1980’s) that traced her spiritual and mystical journey. Though she was Jewish, Etty drew on a number of sources in her writing and thought, including Christian sources.
I’m sure there will be a lot more to say about her as the summer progresses, but I did want to touch on one point. At our recent spiritual direction residency, we learned (or in my case relearned) the practice of centering prayer. Centering prayer differs from meditation in subtle ways: instead of meditating on scripture or a special word, centering prayers seeks interior silence. Thomas Merton explained that contemplative or centering prayer is “prayer centered entirely on the presence of God.” The goal is to rest in the presence of God.
Learning to be centered is one of the things that most attracted me to spiritual direction in the first place. I don’t want to be one of those people whose emotions are all over the map depending upon what’s happening in their life at the moment. I want to retain an inner calm regardless of the circumstances.
In a brief passage I read in one of Etty’s diary entries, she quotes Carl Jung (above) and then writes:
“My ‘center’ is growing firmer by the day. In the past, for all my fine and well-founded theories, I was nothing but a fluttering, insecure little bird. And now, deep inside me, there is a center of strength which also radiates strength to the outside.”
How did she achieve this inner strength? By centering herself (meditating) for half an hour each morning. “Half an hour of meditation can set the tone for the whole day,” she wrote. Not that it comes easily at first. As she points out, this type of centering prayer must be learned. Our world is so noisy, our brains are so noisy, that it can take weeks to learn to quiet them. But, it is well worth the effort. It is something I did faithfully in my late teens and early twenties, then allowed the busyness of the world take away from me. Now I have returned to it just in time for Lent.
Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday. Perhaps, like most people, your Lenten discipline is to give something up. Might I suggest something different? Instead of giving up something, how about adding something – centering prayer. If you are looking for more information on centering prayer, there are plenty of good articles on the internet. There is also an excellent book titled Centering Prayer by Basil Pennington. And, of course, there’s a Centering Prayer app!
Regardless of what you choose to do, I pray that the season of Lent will be a sacred time for you, a time to draw closer to God, a time to rest in God’s love.
Blessings on your journey.
p.s. My Lenten season is beginning with spinal fusion surgery tomorrow morning. It is doubtful that I will be able to write something for next Monday, but it is certain that will continue with my prayer practices.
Divine Overtones 