Awake (Part 2)

“Wake, awake, for night is flying”
Hymn by Catherine Winkworth

In last week’s blog I wrote about my quest to learn how to swim, and I promised to give an update from my lesson last Tuesday. I’m happy to report that I made some significant progress! Among other things, I was able to tread water for about 30 seconds, which may not sound like anything special, but for me it was an incredible victory.

The impediment to learning how to swim (at least for me) isn’t physical: it’s mental. My mind has to believe that it is possible. Which makes me wonder what would happen if I took that thought beyond the pool and into the rest of my life. Perhaps if I reached that point of belief nothing would be im-possible. But, I have to get to that point and I’m not there yet.

Toward the end of last week’s lesson one of the instructors told me to grab a float and follow him into the deep end. He was about six feet in front of me and with the float there was no way I could sink; all I had to do was keep my eyes on him and not think about the depth of the water. It sounded easy enough since I’ve done the same thing in the ocean. Kicking hard, I made it about five feet into the deeper water before I noticed my pace was slowing. And then, still kicking hard, I actually started moving backwards. Confused, I asked the instructor what was happening.

“You’re backpedaling,” he said.

Backpedaling! My body was ready to go forward, but my mind just wasn’t having it. It was an example of the fight or flight response, and my brain was in full flight. This all happened on a subconscious level and I wasn’t even awake to it.

It’s made me wonder what else I haven’t been awake to. What other things has my mind told me are im-possible?

Many years ago I read that we could easily bring an end to world hunger. Apparently, it’s not a difficult problem to solve. However, it remains unsolved because the majority of people don’t believe it’s possible, so they don’t give or work toward that goal. I think we could say the same thing about poverty, world peace and social justice. We don’t believe those problems can be solved so we just resolve to live with them.

For 61 years I didn’t believe that I could learn swim, so I just resolved to live as a non-swimmer. But, now I’m beginning to believe it is possible and that belief is opening up whole new worlds to me. Granted, I still have a long way to go, but for the first time I’m awake to the possibility.

There are many things I need to wake up to, such as the needs of others and the ways I can help. Most of all, I need to wake up to the fact that it’s really not about me. It’s about God. God is here, working beside and through us. And as the angel Gabriel said to Mary, “Nothing is impossible with God.” We just need to believe.

God bless. Stay awake.