Closing the Distance

[Jesus prayed] “The glory that you have given me I have given them, so that they may be one, as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become completely one, so that the world may know that you have sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.”   (John 17)

Grace to you and peace.

If there’s one thing I could change about myself, it would be the habit of making snap judgements about other people.  But, it’s hard because I enjoy it so much.  Not that my judgements are always correct, but they certainly are quick.

This was brought home to me recently as my wife and I travelled to Oregon to see family, sample wine and take in the mountains.  I also found a little time to go fly fishing (I can now add another state to my list of places where I haven’t caught any fish).

As I was coming up out of the Applegate River with my fishing gear, another fisherman approached me.  He asked if I’d had any luck.  Just a couple of bites, I told him.  He scanned the river and decided it was too shallow to fish.  We talked for a few minutes and then he told me that he had been forced to go on unemployment due to the Covid crisis.  He was just hoping to enjoy a few days outdoors.  So, I told him about a couple of other fishing spots and we parted amiably. 

Later I realized that it was a conversation that wouldn’t have happened anywhere else.  You see, judging by appearances (i.e. the message on his t-shirt) it was obvious that we were on opposite ends of the political spectrum.  If we’d met on the street, we probably wouldn’t have spoken to one another.  We might even have gotten into an argument.  Such is life in America today.

But, by talking with him and developing even a momentary relationship, I saw something more than a political opponent.  I saw a person.  It was an enjoyable encounter that I would have missed if I’d simply gone by surface appearances.  It’s so easy to judge people when we keep our distance from one another.

Take the photograph above, for example.  From a distance this horse sculpture at the Domaine Serene Winery looks solid; no different from thousands of others.  But, if you look closely, you’ll see what makes this one special:

While it looks solid from a distance, it is actually made up of nuts and bolts, metal straps, hinges, nails – you name it.  You get a completely different feel for the uniqueness of the sculpture up close.  As you look at the detail, you enter into a type of relationship with the artist; up close you can appreciate the artist’s creativity and vision.

Since I began studying to become a spiritual director people ask me on a weekly basis what that means.  What does a spiritual director do?  And what is spiritual direction anyway?

Spiritual direction really is about relationship:  the spiritual director helps close the distance between the directee and God.  After all, that is God’s greatest wish – to be in relationship with His children.  With you. 

Sometimes, because we know ourselves so well, it’s hard to believe that God would want to have a relationship with us. Sometimes, because of grief or anger, we don’t want to have a relationship with God.  Other times it seems that God is just plain absent.  Though God is never absent, we can lose track of God as we deal with the challenges of everyday life. The spiritual director helps the directee to see where God is active in his or her life.

Jesus was all about relationship.  He developed relationships with people from every walk of life and social strata.  He took a lot of grief for spending time with the “wrong” people (“Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?” Mark 2).

But, Jesus loved (and continues to love) everyone.  Jesus found everyone to be of value.  Even those who hammered the nails into his hands.

We live in divisive times and, to be honest, I fear for the future of our republic.  We are so far apart, it seems impossible to find common ground.  But, if I could find common ground with someone through fishing, how much more should we be able to find common ground through God.

You can’t always tell what someone is like on the inside by what’s printed on their t-shirt.  If you want to understand them, you need to interact with them.  You need to take some time to get to know their circumstances.  You need to look at them through God’s eyes. That might just lead to understanding.  Understanding might lead to peace.  Who knows what peace might lead to.  There’s only one way to find out…