The IN Crowd

The IN Crowd

I’m in with the in crowd
I go where the in crowd goes
I’m in with the in crowd
And I know what the in crowd knows

The In Crowd – Dobie Gray

Grace to you and peace.

I’ve learned a couple of things about myself over the last couple of weeks that I wish I hadn’t. Learning new things about yourself can be good; I’m just not sure that this is one of those times.

First, in a meeting with my spiritual director, I learned that I am “INtolerant.” To whom does my intolerance extend, you ask? Well, to be honest, it’s a long list and I’d really rather not go into it at the moment. Let’s just say that my INtolerance goes hand in hand with my INsecurity.

The second thing I learned about myself is that I am, apparently, the voice of the political Left. Who knew? It came as a complete surprise to me and I think it would surprise a number of other people as well. But, I received this message a few days ago in response to a blog post from January (False Flags and Damnable Lies 1/10/2021):

We know the far left (YOU) simply accuses others of what they do. And you prove the point with all your LIES.

I don’t think there is anything to be gained by arguing with whoever posted this. I’m sure his or her mind will not be changed by anything I might write. I will say, though, that I was 100% honest in what I wrote back in January. I was also angry. While I did not lie, I was INtolerant. In my defense, there are things that should not be tolerated, and I believe that an attack on our democracy is one of those things. Although I ended my post with a plea to love one another, my tone was unnecessarily mean-spirited.

What causes me to be INtolerant? I think many times, though not always, it is my INsecurity. And what is INsecurity but internalized fear? I have noticed that when someone does something that causes me to be afraid I lash out defensively. Additionally, my INsecurity makes it impossible for me to see things from the other person’s point of view. Perhaps they are afraid as well. Perhaps that is what makes them behave as they do. But, my INsecurity makes it impossible for me to relate to them in any meaningful way.

And here, I think, is the problem with our society. We are afraid. The far Left is afraid of the far Right, the far Right is afraid of the far Left and those of us in the Middle are afraid of both the far Left and the far Right. And because of our fear we are completely INtolerant of anyone else’s position. How can we break out of this impasse? How can we release our fear and actually listen to those with whom we disagree?

There is only one way, and that is by engaging in radical love for one another. The opposite of fear is not courage, it is love. There are many people who have done courageous things will being absolutely terrified. Love, is the absence of fear. Scripture teaches us that we cannot love if we are afraid:

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

1 John 4:18

For God gave us not a spirit of fearfulness; but of power and love and self-discipline.

2 Timothy 1:7

So, how do we learn to love one another? Well, frankly, we need help. We need God’s help to truly love one another. One way to get there is through honest, deep prayer. When we come before God with open and honest hearts, we become aware of our own sinfulness, our own failings. We understand that we are all in the same place, in need of God’s love and grace. No one is better than anyone else.

Admitting the truth about ourselves makes it easier to see the shared humanity in others. It is a place to start. In the meantime, pray for others, especially those with whom you are afraid of. Maybe God will enable you to understand them a little better and to lose some of your fear.

If I had to choose an IN word to describe myself, I would rather it be INclusive rather than INtolerant or INsecure. That’s what I will be asking God to help me with in the weeks ahead.